I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
