i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
