The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
We talked him into tasing himself.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize