I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I want a musical about memes.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
