Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
