there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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