Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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