You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
We are all done wearing pants today
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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