I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
