Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
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