For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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