she was so not down for the gang bang
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
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