You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Randomize
