U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
