he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
