She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Randomize
