He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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