I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
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