well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
