My nipple is on Facebook.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize