We named our party play list daddy issues
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
