i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
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