fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Randomize
