Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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