cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize
