their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
