I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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