I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Randomize