So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
i think i just lost a toe
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
