NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
what the fuck happened to the tacos
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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