I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
