he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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