ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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