Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
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