Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
