my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
