You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
