Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
