oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Randomize
