my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I think my moral compass just broke
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
