she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
