If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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