Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
You smell like stripper and shame
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
