but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
