you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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