i will never coherently bang her
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
