Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
