i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
