I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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