if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
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