if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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