i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
The air taste purple.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
