I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
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