at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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