jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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