Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
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