Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
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i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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