My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Randomize
