this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
