You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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