i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
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