Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I need a hoe opinion
go on
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize