is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
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