This girl is more easily done than said...
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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