I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
